So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
