You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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