I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Actions speak louder than pants.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
