So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
