Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
