Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
