We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
cat food counts as protein by the way
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
