I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
