I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
