So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
