Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
