You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
