I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
