I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
false alarm, still single
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