I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
