Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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