In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize