if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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