aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
