Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
