i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
