I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
