He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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