suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
