Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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