Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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