we have pet lesbian snakes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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