and i looked up. we had an audience...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
