Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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