I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
