So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
