I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to fling myself into the sun
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
