We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
