Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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