so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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