I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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