Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
