Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize