best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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