there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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