She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
