I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
