and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
