Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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