I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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