maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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