We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize