I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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