you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
