I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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