Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
