We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
