Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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