I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
wanna go halves on a baby?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
bring money and cleavage
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
