Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
