My brain says no but my pants say off.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
