So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
