You just made me feel so damn special
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
