she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
